Well, The Dress has been found. It's not red, or gold, or white; it's unique, me, meets all of my requirements, and may require us to rethink flowers - but it's found, and it's all good.
A huge amount of thanks goes out to Lari and Heather for helping me out with this one. We found the dress at
Ami Fer on St. Hubert in Montreal on a daytrip to look at dresses in the area. It was rainy and cold, but good times with good company and obviously it worked out for the best!